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Hallowe'en 2009 Graphic #2
Finally, on this last night of October, herewith is the second and final Hallowe'en graphic for 2009, following as it does my Hallowe'en 2009 Graphic #1
, and continuing the tradition of my Hallowe'en graphics from years past, which include Hallowe'en Politics Graphic #1
, Halloween Politics Graphic #2
, and Hallowe'en Politics Graphic #3
. In 2007, I created and published Hallowe'en 2007 Graphic #1
, Halloween 2007 Graphic #2
, and Hallowe'en 2007 Graphic #3
. The 2008 round featured Hallowe'en 2008 Graphic #1
and Halloween 2008 Graphic #2
And to complete this night of haunted horrors, readers might be wondering what would be something that would scare a person known on the Internet as the "Dark Wraith." That is a fair question, and I shall now share with you a partial list of things that give me, an economist, cause for nightmares.
Here we go: a list of things that go bump in the night, frustrating my fitfil bouts of unrestful slumber.
• The Federal Reserve announces in a press release that accommodative monetary policy will end immediately because of the looming threat of inflation. The notification explains that consumers and businesses should expect to see "aggressively" rising interest rates over the coming months. Cryptically, the communiqué from the Fed ends with the one-line paragraph, "All hail Cthulu."
• The U.S. Mint announces that the "In God We Trust" statement on the back of American currency will soon be replaced with "Pull my finger!"
• The entire staff of the President's Council of Economic Advisers is arrested in a raid on an illegal off-track betting parlor on the south side of Toledo. The President's chief economic adviser, instead of keeping quiet during his arraignment, hollers to the judge, "Hey, we hadn't been paid in two months! What were we supposed
• In a strange twist on one of those conservative teabagger demonstrations, the entire crowd — including everyone in the liberal counter-demonstration — spontaneously, and all at once, starts singing Kumbaya
, while they hold hands and sway in unison.
• The Chinese start importing bags of dollar bills to be sold at Walmart at low-low prices even the competition can't beat.
• Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner, in an interview aired on 60 Minutes
, appears to be inebriated and blurts out, "I want to have Sarah Palin's love child."
• In a bold move intended to stop antitrust actions being taken against Microsoft by the European Union, Bill Gates buys
the European Union.
• After finalizing his purchase of the EU, Gates releases European Union 2.0. It immediately crashes all of Western Europe.
• Hackers crack into the central computers of the nation's largest banks; they then transfer all Tier 1 capital into start-up company Happy Weed Transgenics, Inc. (The company's IPO goes quite well the next day.)
• Congress taxes sex. When proceeds from the tax prove disappointing, Congress amends the legislation to tax only boring
sex. Revenues skyrocket.
• On-the-scene security cameras at the New York Stock Exchange capture footage of Warren Buffet running across the floor of the Exchange screaming, "Sell! SELL! They're COMING
!" The video goes viral on YouTube.
• The Treasury Dept. has increasing difficulties borrowing money, so it hires Hannah Montana to sell Treasury securities to kids in select, up-scale urban markets.
• Not to be outdone, the underwriting arm of Goldman Sachs hires Whitney Houston as the Featured Performer on digital versions of prospectuses.
• The Senate, in a desperate attempt to stave off bankruptcy, partners with a leading fast-food chain and renames the Senate chambers the "Taco Bell Senate Bowl."
• Not to be outdone, the House of Representatives partners with a well-known restaurant chain and renames its chambers the "Cracker Barrel House." Citizens across the country agree.
• Independent investigative reporters capture a grainy video of what appears to be President Barack Obama and executives of FOX News in a secret, late-night meeting at a Denny's on the outskirts of Peoria, where the audio seems to indicate details of their continuing operation of saying things that drive each other's followers bonkers, just so the apparent enemies can keep their respective ratings high. Rumors run rampant that the video also seems to show that the "waitress" serving them was none other than former Vice President Dick Cheney in drag, trying to figure out what the group was up to.
Okay, that's enough of my nightmares for one Halloween. I trust that you find these horror stories every bit as terrifying as I do.
Pleasant dreams, fellow lurkers in the night of Empire.
Spooktacular graphic, Wraith!
Ol' Dickie seems to make for a better tombstone than a living being. Maybe it's the lack of blood dripping from his lips.
Congress taxes sex. When proceeds from the tax prove disappointing, Congress amends the legislation to tax only boring sex. Revenues skyrocket.
Now, that made me LOL.
I have to say that the thought of ANYONE wanting Sarah Palin's love child gives me the total creepies.
Halloween notes from tonight's T or T- The elder Implet was a dog, the Mu dressed in a Sully costume (from Monster's Inc, the movie) while Imp... put her hair in ponytails and wore her PJ's as Boo, the little human girl Sully rescues in the movie. I did my fall back usual costume of Sorceress, and it actually got complements. Rainy day, so we did downtown rather than neighborhood stuff. Kids had fun. I want to know what's with the Snickers and peanut M&Ms this year-not a single Hershey's with almonds, only 1 Three Musketeer-sigh. Very little candy for Momma Clover to snitch that she likes.
In personal news, the Clover economy has tanked... working at the Bojangles that replaced our Subway became intolerable. Imp.. put in her 3 week notice, only to have it torn up and got told she quit ....she lost 10+ days of vacation since she didn't work her notice. I put in for a transfer back to the gas station/convenience stores...after 5 1/2 weeks I finally got it, though I took a $1.50 pay cut (as well as giving up free food) to do it. I won't post my reasons (or Imp...'s since they were similar) for our decisions to leave, but I will happily discuss such things privately. (After all, you may be in a position of stopping in to eat there on a trip, or in a position to hire ex-managers someday and want the details unofficially. Just that I still am employed by the parent company, and I saw how Imp lost craploads because the DM was determined to see her go, and I want to keep my head down.)
(I'm having to split this...it said I talk too much for one post)
Other than finances, all is well. My eldest is in desperate need of inspiration in getting his homework done, though we hope the new ADD meds help, and the littler one is wild and woolly as ever and still not talking much at all, but he adores school and is very very attentive. Oh, and if there are any magic teaching tricks you know to get the multiplication tables through to a 9 year old (who I think mainly doesn't want to/can't concentrate and hates rote memorization as much as I do) please pass them on. All my tricks got learned over the years, and I think I was number 29 out of 30 in class actually memorizing them back in '68...
Oh, and I'm not sure I finished the point I was about to make on the show last night...The democrats who have spoken out have been shouted down, put on the back page, not covered in media, dismissed as unpatriotic for so long I would bet a lot have the syndrome which in an infant is called "learned helplessness". If an infant cries from hunger, or discomfort, and is ignored, the infant eventually will stop crying for that reason...he won't believe the effort will achieve the result he wants.
When the Shrub was running against John Kerry, I noted coverage of them both speaking on the same day by the media...GW had always a sound clip, and several lines of his recycled sound bites. Kerry's coverage was usually a voice-over with a summary like "Kerry spoke about economic issues". Even if the entire Dem caucus had staged a walk-out in protest of the Iraq war, or warrentless wiretapping, would anyone in the media have bothered to actually dig out in depth of why the protest, or would it have been glossed over, with all the quotes being from the republicans?
It is taking way too long for the dems to grow a spine, but at least I see signs that they are. I can understand why it may be so hard for them to , between learned helplessness, battered wife syndrome, and people crazy enough that they can call themselves "teabaggers" despite it being sexual slang (maybe that is why they carry guns? To prove they ain't no sissy homo type teabagger, but a macho patriot type) I see signs that the customer desperate MSM is thinking about doing reporting again. I just wish it would happen FASTER. I. I want to dismantle welfare for companies and CEOs. I want to very humbly ask the legal governments of the countries WE invaded exactly what they would like from us, then give it to them(assuming it is reasonable, like Cheney's head) and get out. Spend our treasure at home on high speed rail, broadband for all, alternative energy and paying good teachers to teach, while paying for kids (and adults) to learn. And still have enough money for government single payer healthcare for the entire country. Socialist hell! Companies originally started offering healt insurance for economic reasons...bottom line, healthy=more productive=profit. The cost, due to competition by the health insurance industry to see who can drive up profits most by minimizing actual payouts, has become prohibitive for most companies...the coverage sucks, they don't get healthier employees because said employee can't afford the deductable or co-pay....Now a single payer, cutting out all those overpriced CEOs out there, making it one standardized claim form, etc, is going to cut costs lots just right there. If people can afford their meds, and their co-pays again, they once again justify the cost of insurance by being more productive, raising the GNP, and increasing tax revenues. It is capitalism practiced by the government instead of private firms, because the private firms screwed it up. If a Teabagger wants to call it socialist, then I want him to get his ass off my socialist highway system, his kids out of my socialist school, his mom off that socialist Medicaid, and he needs to quit buying those agricultural products that receive price supports. Or American made cars. Or financial services at certain banks.....
I am confused as to why revenues would soar just taxing boring sex vs taxing all sex....isn't boring sex a subset of sex, therefore the revenues should be smaller? Unless large numbers of folks were republicans convinced that they would not have boring sex, and since exciting sex was now tax exempt went on and tried it but got screwed because it was actually boring. And is this self reported? If so revenues will drop because no one will admit to boring sex. If not, how do you weed out the tax cheaters and how do you determine the "bore" level*? Electrode implants in all genitalia with a wireless transmitter?
*note: personal experience puts the average bore level at 6"...oh wait....
WC, great good luck on the homework scene, been there, still doing that, meds included.(They've helped.)
It's been so long since sex and I have been acquainted that it's now just an abstract thought. Of course, that also means that dressing to impress is no longer a consideration, which is nice.
Well Trog, if you could choose between fairly regular sex that was boring and predictable (with someone who was just "okay for now"), or a rarely occurring mental and physical inferno, which would you choose?
As far as taxing sex, if they taxed the people who like to wear diapers and/or get paddled by hookers, solicit minors, and give head jobs in men's bathrooms, then just think how much money could be wrung from our congress!! Kinda warms the cockles, doesn't it?
One of these days, I'm going to buy linen tablecloths instead of the cheap paper kind for this diner.
I do like your idea of types of sex to tax!
I don't know which type Trog prefers, but personally I'd like the type that is neither interrupted by a small child nor the dog deciding it must be play time.
Wishful thinking, that...
Good morning, fellow travelers of the roads less trod by health inspecters; Where great sex is determined by how long it is before we notice the god-awful sounds of latex accoutrements rubbing against each other.
Anna, I was blessed with a two year-long affair that visited many circles of inferno at least daily. I was fresh outta the service, living in Houston. She was most certainly the finest instructor in all things sexual and sensual I have ever had the pleasure to be with. The most important lesson being that shedding hangups is critical to full enjoyment for both, and not telling them what you want due to embarrassment is just cheating yourself.
WC, I know that I'd make a lousy porn star. If I can't keep my composure just because my dog decides that right then was the best time to start licking my leg, I damned sure couldn't perform in front of cameras and their operators. Hm, mebbe I shoulda just pretended that he was some other...nawnawnaw, forget I said anything.
Jeese, Trog - that sounds mighty, mighty nice - the daily infernos, that is (not the dog on your leg)! I'd give your right nut for such an instructor.
You experienced one of life's rare gifts, but you already know that.
p.s. probably most of us would make lousy porn stars! From what I can tell, most porn stars make lousy porn stars. The theatrics have gotten so over-the-top it's almost comical.
One more thing - WC, don't forget the kitties who like to attack whatever moving butt happens to be on top...
(Is the little one still young enough to buy the "we were just wrestling" explanation?)
Ah, now I understand.
I was in the back room wondering why the cascading style sheet was on fire.
The Mu just flops onto whoever is nearest and complains if he's shifted, all without truly being awake. The present kitties don't generally interrupt, though we had one that would always show up for any sex or energy work(healing/massage technique), and walk over us purring until he either got in the middle or got thrown out.
The stupid Lhasa Apso is the one who thinks we're wrestling and wants to join in. My pug is the one who wants to lick any and all bare skin she can reach on Mommy(me), whether "wrestling" is going on or not.
Trog: It is because I'd love to attempt to revisit some of the circles of inferno that has me bemoaning the fact of a house with children and critters.
probably I would make both a good porn star and a really bad one. Good because I am at heart an exhibitionist, and unlike most of the ones I've seen in movies (granted, I've not seen many) I do know anatomy. I may ,however, be too good an actress for such a venue. Bad because I often find myself suddenly thinking of a joke during the act, and I cannot continue without sharing the joke (which admittedly is a bit strange) with my companion. Then I giggle hysterically at the reaction to my telling the joke.
Some guys I dated used to find that off-putting for some reason....
a semi-literate, whacko-religious Republican quitter who dresses like an aging slut
I think it should be an aging, semi-literate, whacko-religious Republican quitter who dresses like a slut . From what I can tell, the dress code for sluts is pretty standard whatever the age, except older sluts tend toward red nail polish, and younger ones toward black.
And yes, work at a convenience store in a college town in southwest VA and you see all types of sluts.
WC - I know, right? Some guys just don't get the humor of, or the humor that occurs during sex. Like when you suddenly think of something really funny and start laughing hysterically. You'd think they'd appreciate the extra spasms, but noooooo.....
WC, sorry, I almost forgot - email me your email, and I'll send you some strategies for those times tables. annavanz at gmx dot com
(As a kid I learned them quickly, as the alternative was a serious switching, but I don't recommend that.)
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