CNN has hired Right-wing extremist Mary Matalin as a political commentator, joining the ratings-starved station's whacko brigade of Bill Bennett, Alex Castellanos, and Ed Rollins. Sam Feist, CNN's 'political director' and vice president of Washington programming, hailed the acquisition of Matalin in the following words: "As one of the best-known and best-connected strategists in the country, Mary will join our line up of top Republican analysts... We are thrilled that CNN viewers will be able to tap into Mary's vast political experience advising candidates and presidents from both inside and outside of the White House."

Yes, this is Mary Matalin, late of the propaganda bureau of Dick Cheney's shadow government. Ms. Matalin is a genuine, 100 percent showpiece, inextricably — and apparently quite proudly — associated not only with the worst presidential administration in modern U.S. history, but also with the core of a criminal enterprise that engaged in lies to start war, torture, a rogue assassination squad, and political intrigue that included control of the entire Executive Branch by crazies of the Religious Right who think the world must soon come to an end in Rapture and neo-conservatives who took their orders from Tel Aviv and think the world would come to an end if the AIPAC doesn't own every politician and pundit inside the Beltway.

Is Matalin joining CNN bad news? Certainly not. CNN is losing its mainstream viewers, so it's going after the FOX News crowd, which means the two operations will now competitively beat each other into the ground as they desperately fight for the same, narrow, niche market. That is the power of free market competition at its very best: the dregs of an industry backing into the same corner of an identifiable, understandable, targetable, malleable demographic/psychographic cohort group; and there, they destroy each other... and themselves.

And by the way, for readers who don't believe me about how ludicrous CNN has become, watch the video below about the appalling arrest of a reporter and his cameraman by an out-of-control policeman. As shocking as the video of the incident is, CNN newscaster Rick Sanchez leads in with embarrassing, buffoon-like pomposity masquerading as some attempt at objectivity welling up from some deep reserve of extraordinary wisdom about such matters. Once the clip of the incident, itself, is finished, Sanchez picks right back up with his over-the-top, "I'm-a-serious-newsguy-type-of-person" schtick.



Yes, that was Rick Sanchez, who qualifies as a newscaster at CNN and who would, in an alternate life, serve as a role model for comedic parodies of news at The Onion. Throw that kind of wince-inducing reporter in with Right-wing windbags that include the likes of Bill "Gamble-'n-Tie-Me-Up" Bennett and Mary "Georgie Was a Great Prez" Matalin, and you've got all the makings of a news station that's going to give FOX News a real run for its money.

Let the good times roll, fellow citizens: the Forces of the EndTime are coalescing into a spinning sphere of Stupid at neutron star density.

The Dark Wraith will be available for on-air reviews of the show when the whole Stupid Thing hits critical mass and collapses into the vortex of a black hole that finally causes everyone to exclaim in unison, "YO, man. This really SUCKS!"