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End Time Rescheduled
The Large Hadron Collider
powered up today.
Despite fears to the contrary
although it goes without saying considering you're reading this articlethe universe did not vanish in a cascade of monopoles or a goo of stranglets, nor did the Earth get swallowed into a rapidly expanding mini-black hole.
Back to the oars, people.
The Dark Wraith was expecting so much more from science.
Don't be too quick on that "nothing happened" schtick! Are you shhuuurreee everything is the same as it was before they flipped the switch? Maybe at that instant we were all tripped into another dimension! A dimension of sight and sound...never mind! Is Bush still president?
We still have to wait until the teeny particles do head ons next month before the scientists need their kleenexes.
The only black hole right now is the one our government produced that's sucking all our money into oblivion (or Paraguay!) But it DOES seem to be growing... relatively speaking.
"Is Bush still president?" -- Father Tyme
"He might be other people's president. He'll NEVER be MY president." -- Unknown
They didn't collide anything yet. They are still calibrating the thang. I think we may have to wait several months to be annihilated.
Wow! Then we can see who does it first! Sarah or Hadron!
May bets are on Sarah!
I am distressed to find my semi-cynical thoughts on this going to the "What the hell, we are fucked anyhow" end of the spectrum. I'm with Blondesense....Sarah might beat the Hadron. But I think I'd rather vote for the particle accelerator!
ah, heck, even if they do produce earth destroying particles, we'll just end up putting them in our cell phones and find a way to get children in the Congo to mine for us cheaper.
I'd like to reserve some seats at your Diner for my wife, myself and some friends to watch the end of the Universe.
Please let me know how much (not that it'll matter afterward) tickets are and who the opening act is.
Aww man. That's why DW asked if I wanted to make some extra cash that night...he's gonna have me bussing tables again. I always miss all the good stuff, 'cause if I don't have any waters to refill or dishes to take away from any tables, he has me running to make him another vodka martooni. "Like the Sahara, ya hear me?", he tells me. One of these days I goin' to the zoo and gettin' me some camel piss. I'll show him fuckin' Sahara desert.
It wouldn't work, trog.
All the camels were killed by an American drone in an airstrike against suspected al-Qa'ida targets. Early reports from the Pentagon indicate that 14 camels were neutralized including the fourteenth-in-command of the twelfth-in-command of the notorious al-Qa'ida in Peoria, believed to have been behind the bombing of Al's Burger Joint at the corner of Fourth and Main, where suspicious young men from Cedar Rapids had been spotted earlier in the week trying to take pictures to no avail because none of them could figure out that the little LCD screen doesn't show anything if the lens cap in still on.
More news later here on the Dark Wraith Publishing News Network.
In related news, customers at the new AL's BIGGER N BETTER BURGER JO NT have been raving about how juicy the burgers are since rebuilding, and business has been brisk, despite the fact that the pranksters who placed all 14 of the camel's heads in back of AL's have not been found yet.
Details before they occur, here on the DWPNN.
Peter, I was just hoping beyond hope that your link was a setup. Man, Greeks and their backdoor infiltrations.
With DW's newly acquired skill set, ( See the sidebar.) perhaps he could help IT at the LHC, thus turning back the Greek's attack, and preventing further penetration.
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