MOOOO! (with a Side Order of Hurl)
The USDA is recalling 143 million pounds of frozen beef (that's right, folks one hundred forty-three million pounds) that was bound for federal school lunch programs and several major chains of fast-food restaurants. The beef in the recall came from Westland/Hallmark Meat Co., whose secretly videotaped practices included using forklifts to move sick and non-ambulatory cattle to slaughter.
Here's my idea. Don't throw that meat away; instead, force-feed it to every whining, so-called conservative, "limited government" bleater in the country. Make 'em eat every last bit of it, just to make sure there's none left that hungry kids could end up inadvertently consuming. (Unfortunately, it seems that about 37 million pounds of it have probably already been eaten.)
Then, while all those limited government folks start getting really, really worried about maybe ending up feverish, with vomiting, diarrhea, and all the other symptoms of food poisoning, get 'em all on YouTube singing the praises of Republicans, tax cuts, spending priorities for the global war on terror, and free markets. Make 'em all say in unison, "Git guv'mint off th' backs o' bidness!"
Timing is everything, of course. If any of those free-market lovers actually do get food poisoning, we'll have to capture their feelings before effects like kidney failure set in. That whole death-rattle thing is a real ratings loser.
Does that sound too harsh? Gee, let's see, here: this latest example of the creative power of free markets pumped 37 million pounds of potentially tainted beef into the mouths of kids and tried to do the same with another 106 million pounds of the stuff.
Perhaps the free market acolytes should be given a choice between eating the beef and getting a good horse-whipping. "Free to Choose" is how the late, Right-wing economics extremist Milton Friedman put it.
The Dark Wraith has finally found something on which to agree with that deceased snake-oil salesman.
Comments
Wrote Moody Blue:
Wrote Dark Wraith:
The cows have not only left the barn, they have now been in Cow Heaven long enough to claim squatters' rights, for Lord's sake.
The Dark Wraith needs to back-check his meal plans for the past several years.
Wrote Moody Blue:
Forgive me, Wraith, but how in the Hell do you recall something that has already been consumed?
Wrote Dusty:
As a resident of the northern end of SoCal..this sure as hell doesn't make my Sunday afternoon.
I will not be eating at a fast food chain anytime in the near future. I am just thankful it wasn't in the general population's grasp. I am disgusted by the entire turning of this worm.
Wrote trog69:
I had me a Burger King cheeseburger this morning, after it sat in the fridge for 2 days. I just thought the green was for St. Patty's Day!
Wrote Wild Clover:
Amusing to see this after spending Friday in "Serve Safe" class-learn all about various wigglies and ickies you can get...I'm just glad the worm thingies come in sushi, so I am unlikely to have the symptom of coughing up worms.
Anyway, as I told the instructor, on my own time eating out, I refuse to stress over all the things I KNOW go on behind the scenes...something is gonna kill me eventually. However, as businesses and professionals in the food chain, the responsibility is to NOT let shit happen, and I sincerely hope that company is now toast. I'm more freaked at the "dating back to 2006"-is that beef still around? It seriously shouldn't be, even frozen.
I like the idea of feeding it to the deregulation advocates to see if there is anything wrong with any of it. Meanwhile, I have a freezer full of homegrown beef and lamb...no more guarentee there as to the safety than getting it at Krogers, but at least (and this is Imp...'s view) the critters were raised on a family farm where the families treated them well before slaughtering them. LOVES ME some dead baby sheep! The beef needed to hang longer, though, IMHO.
Wrote Dark Wraith:
"The beef needed to hang longer, though..."
Lord knows, the Dark Wraith does what he can with the sirloin that's available.
Wrote Progressive Traditionalist:
Good morning, Mr Wraith.
Thanks for the info. This would have escaped my notice otherwise.
Thank goodness the terrorists never made it to the food supply!
Surely, had Congress authorized the intelligence community to listen in to the conversations of beef cattle, we wouldn't be having this problem now.
Wrote Brooke:
TWO COWS ...
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cow.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. The government takes the milk and pays you for it and then pours the milk down the drain.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
DEMOCRAT -You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful.
REPUBLICAN -You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST -You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST -You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
FLORIDA CORPORATION -You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking cow.
AMERICAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION -You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
ITALIAN CORPORATION -You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
GERMAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
POLISH CORPORATION -You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
JAPANESE CORPORATION -You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION - You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
I'm sharing this because if I think about the meatballs that I made for dinner last night ... I'm gonna hurl.
Wrote Brooke:
By the way, DW, this is off-topic, but I thought of you Sunday while I was at Target. I got nailed in the stomach by one of those juvenile deliquents with wheels on the bottom of their tennis shoes. I was minding my own business and searching for laundry detergent and BAM!!! I was in a really bad mood too. He's lucky I didn't go all pink ninja on him. ;-)
Wrote trog69:
DW, now we can get back in the good graces of this admin. and USDA/FDA; We just send the used beef back to the appropriate agencies!
Add Comments
Log in
Become a Registered Commenter
« Return to the main page.
This blog offers Internet travelers a place where they can discuss economics, finance, politics, and other topics of scholarly and practical interest to thinking people. Your comments are always welcome, and your visits are most appreciated.
Your host of this Weblog is an award-winning college teacher and writer who specializes in economics, finance, mathematics, business administration, computer hardware and software skills, and English grammar and composition. His extensive writings on the history of the English language appeared on About.com in the avatar of the Selig Wraith in the 
Send a Secure Message to the Dark Wraith
![[Valid RSS]](http://dark-wraith.com/images/valid-rss.png "Validate my RSS feed")
From the CNN article:
The federal agency said the recall will affect beef products dating to February 1, 2006 [...]
"On the one hand, I'm glad that the recall is taking place. On the other, it's somewhat disturbing, given that obviously much of this food has already been eaten," said Jean Halloran, director of food policy initiatives at Consumers Union. "It's really closing the barn door after the cows left."
WTF?