Special Blog Post:
A Realist's Best Shot at New Year's Wishes
May your physical maladies be somewhat less than agonizing.
May the wind be from your back and not from your backside.
May your pets not eat you when you die alone in your home.
May you have few and relatively unobtrusive new liver spots on your skin.
May you watch hours of congressional hearings where Democrats pretend to have a spine.
May the emotional problems of your neighbors not involve you too much.
When you lose your job, may you discover that you actually like the flavor of dry dog food.
May you not be sitting on the john in a public restroom when the person in the next stall screams, "JIHAD!"
May your prescriptions cost less than your annual income.
May the disappearance of sensation in your reproductive organs not bother you too much.
May you not hear what kids say about how you smell.
May you continue to live under the illusion that you don't look too bad when you're naked.
May Bill O'Reilly not give out your home address on his show.
May the collapse of the banking system not happen right after your paycheck has been deposited.
May you not be rendered to a secret CIA prison in the Second World.
If you are rendered to a secret CIA prison in the Second World, may you be allowed a latte break each day.
May your dossier at the National Security Agency not be requested by Dick Cheney.
May your dossier with the Mossad not be marked "Pending Action."
May you not be stopped by a cop whose badge reads: "It's Giuliani Time!"
May the RFID chip you are forced to wear to keep your job not have electrical surges.
May the Chinese let you keep the clothes you're wearing when they call in all the debt we owe them.
When you pass through the machine that shows your naked body to the TSA screening guys, may you not hear them laughing hysterically.
May you not hear your surgeon say, just as you're going under anesthesia, "What's the frequency, Kenneth?"
May the administrative director of your region when martial law is declared not be Pat Robertson.
May the genetically modified produce in your refrigerator never say, "Feed me."
And finally...
May you be holding a giant banana cream pie when George W. Bush walks up to shake your hand.
And so, in summary...
May you have a Wonderful New Year!
Published 12/31/2006 11:02:00 PM
<< 16 Comments Total
:-) And a most wonderful year back to you, Wraith.
Slainte!
Good morning, Mr Wraith.
Thanks for the laugh.
I've been through a few of these years, and I can tell you that the new wears off of them rather quickly.
So, Happy Year!
Hope you're still happy with it after you put a few thousand miles on it...
Good morning, Dark Wraith.
Happy New Year to you.
May your pets not eat you when you die alone in your home.
Now, that's not so bad. The only thing wrong would be people's perception of the pets, once they were rescued.
I would rather the pets eat the dead than eat each other.
But, that's just my thought on it...
I enjoyed the rest of the wishes, too. ;) Thanks.
Happy New Year DW,
And, may you live long and prosper
Happy New Year, Dark Wraith.
May you live in interesting times.
And here's to a magic, memorable, and automotively uneventful 2007.
Cheers,
D.
You Too Dark Wraith...You Too
Try to stay out of Gitmo...
Hey Wraith. Can you please do me a huge favor? I would like the Uncapitalist Journal to show my pen name "ReasonInRevolt" instead of my real name. As you know, my blog is http://fruitsofourlabour.blogspot.com.
Thanks so much! Happy New Year!
Good afternoon, Mr. Dark Wraith, sir.
May the genetically modified produce in your refrigerator never say, "Feed me."
As a member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Hyperintelligent Cloned Foodstuffs, (PETHYPCLOF) I must remind you that the civil rights of our smart foods are no laughing matter. Just wait until they organize, then the greens will become a viable third party overnight, yessiree.
Don't alienate the produce. That's all I'm sayin'.
Happy New Year Dark Wraith.
Good afternoon, Busker.
As long as the Greens come with butter and cheese, I shall listen—nay, I shall veritably devour—their message.
Uh... provided, of course, they're not the kind of greens that give my stomach the rumbling grumbles. I have to teach pretty much every day, y'know.
The Dark Wraith strives (occasionally with mixed success) for decorum in the classroom.
Good Evening, Dark Wraith,
May your 2007 be better than 2006...but the level you've set for the bar of a 'good' year is a bit...well....thought-provoking.
I must agree with trailertrash on pets' opportunistic foraging.
You can only do so much without opposable thumbs...
Your cat is a very handsome one, BTW...Manx?
Good evening, tali.
You're close: he's a Cymric.
The Dark Wraith has a particular affinity for "the dog cats."
Good afternoon, Reason in Revolt.
I need you to send me an e-mail message. I am about to do a long-overdue upgrade of The UnCapitalist Journal, and I need to pull at least a few of the other old-timers back in. Google News has locked a sweet spider on that site, and I do dearly want content other than just my own over there. Something happened with the login and registration process, and the only way I'll be able to fix it is through the whole upgrade thing, which will also finally and permanently kill off all that ridiculous spam that nearly destroyed the site.
The Dark Wraith awaits your message.
And good evening, TrailerTrash.
I am not particularly opposed to having my carcass feed some hungry animals, but I do get a little fussy when my animal companion complains to me while I'm exercising about my muscles looking like they're getting a little on the gristly side.
That and the occasional cookbooks I find around the place like that one, Your Owner and the Crock Pot: A Carnivore's Guide to Dinner.
That sort of makes me feel objectified.
The Dark Wraith has his suspicions, y'know.
Good Morning, DW
May you not be sitting on the john in a public restroom when the person in the next stall screams, "JIHAD!"
I was just thinking that might be just the place to be when you hear an accented voice screaming that! (you just have to be able to pull your pants up while you're running...
Hope your Christmas was sparklie and your new year brings you everything you need and want!
good evening, Dark Wraith
May your new year bring you what you need ,as well as what you want
James Kunsler,an author,and peak oil advocate published a list of forecasts :should you require more damning evidence of just how grim this next year may be,its good material for the doomer in all of us.
Haveing spent time and treasure on informing the public on the danger peakoil presents to us,concludeing with a presentation to the state legislature,I have now begun work on the liferaft.Many have the resource base to prepare lifeboats...and some of those you have spoke of undoubtably have fleets of titanic ships with which to sail the storms of peakoil....I have my 2.9acres orchards,and gardens,my liferaft
Have you studied this issue at all?
Also...I found your site years ago following a comment you made on a site..BOP blogging of the president...it seems to have dropped off the planet..do you know where some of those people are now?I recall some very good dicussions on that board..
Oh Dark Wraith, the New Year has been fabulous so far, thank you very much.
I went to a chiropractor today and guess what? I can move! I can move! I even got some of the feeling back in my arm. Life is good... and my stock went up.
Happy New Year to You Too!